Pain
by AliceofClubs
Summary: I wanted all the pain to end. So I vowed to destroy everything that reminded me of him and the scars he left me with. killing fic.


Chapter One

It wasn't the first time I had felt this pain. I usually always felt it, deep in my chest, seeping into my very being. It started how many days ago? How many weeks? Months? Years? I don't even remember. Not anymore. Maybe I could remember when he was here. But that was a long time ago. His presence has been gone for so long that I can't even remember when it was that he disappeared. Maybe it was then that this pain started.

But I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about the pain he left me. The pain he caused. That's why I will get rid of every single thing that reminds me of him. I will destroy it all.

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><p>It was 10:30 on the dot when I first left. I called out to my mom and dad, telling them I was leaving. It's not like I should even bother, even after the divorce I still don't spend any more time with them, or hear any less arguing. Still, talking to them was a thing of habit, a habit that I should break.<p>

A cold wind met me as I got went outside. The beginning of winter would be soon. I was still wearing my school uniform and the short skirt we were required to wear wasn't doing much to keep me warm. I wish I worn something warmer, change out of my school uniform, or maybe grab a jacket at least. But for now I couldn't worry about it. I had little time to do this. What time is it? Oh. No watch. I had left it on the sink of my bathroom.

It wouldn't be worth it though; it would all end soon, anyway.

I walk down the drive of my house. The leaves on the trees were changing color. Green to brown, living to death. It seemed kind of ironic to me how everyone worried about dying but we die someday whether we would like to or not.

Who would die today? Maybe someone who had taken the first few moments of him away, the one who had left us to morn by ourselves, should she be first? Yet why do I ask these questions? I know the answer of it enough to know what it is.

The first memory to go would be the third youngest of our group. Yuiki Yaya would be first. Silly how she will have the youngest life, now she can have her wish to die young and as the baby.

I gave a small smile as I walked away from my house. I told Yaya to meet me at the park near the fountain so we could talk. I haven't seen her since his funeral. I told her that she was immature that out of all things that a friend was required to go to, a funeral was the number one. She didn't listen to me.

So I called her last night. I told her that I was sorry, I didn't mean those things, and I just said it in spite. She believed me.

The park was about a block away from my house so even though it was faster and probably easier to run, I just walked. I passed houses with lights on in their windows. You could see shadows from the residents inside. I passed one house with its windows open. It was strange to see on a cold fall night. But inside I could see a young couple watching TV. She was leaning up against him. They seemed happy. I used to be happy like that. But it all ended. Well, it mostly ended. I was going to finish it soon. Starting at the park.

I made it to the park two minutes after I had left. The trees here were changing colors as well. Even if they were losing their leaves they would be good concealment, no use in getting caught so soon. I walked on a little side walk that cut through the trees down to the middle of the park. The sidewalk ended right at the fountain. The big marble swan in the center spat out dark water. Some of that water was caught in a breeze and carried away in a fine mist.

She sat on the fountain, on the ledge that went around it. Her brown-ish red hair was tied in its trade-mark ponytails. She wore a white t-shirt and jeans with flower and heart patches. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out into the darkness as she waited for me to come.

"You came," I said quietly.

She jumped and whipped around to face me. "Of course Yaya did. Yaya always comes for her friends."

I walked closer to her. "Even after I said all of those things?" I asked.

"Even after Rima-tan said all of those bad things. Yaya knew that Rima-tan was just upset, she didn't mean any of it." She stood up and shook her head indefinitely.

I walked closer to her, away from the mist and the wind. I stood in front of her. "Yaya, why didn't you come to his funeral?" I asked.

In the dim light I could see her face pale. She looked away as if it could hide her shame. "Yaya just couldn't," she whispered. "Yaya didn't want to remember Nagi-"

"Don't say his name," I warned.

She continued without noticing my warning. "…in a box. Looking pale and weak. Yaya wanted her last memory of him to be the happy ones."

"He was your friend. His family needed you. His friends needed you."

Yaya raised a hand to her face. She held it there like it would keep away the tears. I felt I stab in my chest. The pain was coming back. "Not now," I thought. "Not now"

"Yaya knows. "She answered. "But Yaya couldn't bear to see Nagi-"

I lost it. I grabbed her arm away from her face then pulled her closer to me. I could feel her breath wavering and her eyes looked afraid. "I told you not to say his name. How can you not understand that? It shouldn't be that hard, even for you."

"Rima-ta-"I cut her off by pushing her back away from me. She stumbled backwards and righted herself by grabbing the fountain. She looked up at me.

"Why?"

I gave a cold laugh. "Why? Because you deserve it, that's why. He cared for you. And you left him alone. How could a friend do that?"

I walked towards her. She tried to get away, but the fountain kept her from going anywhere. I grabbed her by the hair causing her it to fall down in waves down her back. I pulled her up to her feet. "Don't you dare put yourself up to his level again," I hissed.

It was now or never. If I didn't start to put the plan in action, then I might not ever get a chance like this again. I took and deep breathe and swung my fist at her. She gave a shriek and tried to pull away. I held on too tight for her to get away. I swung again and again, till my arm felt like it was going to fall off. Her shrieks made their way up into the night, only to forgotten by the wind and the trees.

I dropped her to the ground. She fell like a sack of potatoes and hit the ground hard. She let out a little whimper. "Please," she managed to get out. "Please, don't do this. If you stop, Yaya promises not to tell anybody."

"I'm sorry but I can't do that."

Something seemed to snap in her mind. She jumping up, she flew at me. She tried to tackle me to the floor. She grabbed my shoulders, pushing her weight against me to throw me down. I dug my feet into the concrete ground. We pushed our weight until I, having more energy left, pushed her away.

She flew backwards and into the fountain. It wasn't necessarily a deep fountain, but the darkness made her loose her way up and down quickly. Water came up around her as her struggled to find her way back up to the surface.

I walked over to the fountain. I stepped up onto the ledge and watched as bubbles from her fall rose up from the bottom. I saw movement, just barely, in the water. She was almost up to the top. I had to finish this now.

I slipped off my shoes and stepped into the water. The dark wetness came up to my knees. It was cold. Too cold. But I ignored it. I had to. I reached a hand into the water. I went down farther and farther until the water was up to my elbow.

I touched something warm; a hand. I grabbed it and found my way to the rest of the body. Up my hand went till I found her face. Just below that I grabbed her neck and held on tight. I could feel her struggling to get away from me. Water was being splashed up everywhere, the air, the other side of the fountain, and even up into my face. The water stung as it hit my eye. But again I ignored it. I ignored everything. I forgot about her struggling, the cold, and the pain which I had let find its way back into my chest.

Instead I remembered him. I remembered what it was like when he laughed at my jokes. His eyes would light up. His smile would light up everything around me. Making him laugh was my favorite thing in the whole world. But now it was gone.

I noticed that Yaya had stopped moving. How long ago had that happened?

I lifted my hand away from her; she floated to the surface of the water. She was lifeless, dead. Just like he was.

I stepped out of the water. Goosebumps ran up and down my body, but a sense of pride and accomplishment filled me up. I gently shock myself off to get rid of the excess water, slipped my shoes back on, and walked away from the fountain.

I walked away. Away from the park, away from the couple still sitting in their home, and to the thought that I was one step closer to ending this pain. I walked up the drive to my house. Even from out here I could hear my parents arguing. Good, that means they haven't noticed my absence. I walked up, touching the doorknob I felt a shiver run down my spine. Maybe I had done the wrong thing? But that was impossible. This is what I was supposed to do.

I stepped inside the house. The light was on in the kitchen but the rest of the house was dark. I slid off my shoes and walked thought the hallway in front to the door. The hallway branched off into several rooms, the kitchen, the sitting room, the guests bedroom, and then when up a flight of stairs that led to my room. There were no pictures in the hallway. No memories on the wall. Just plain beige wallpaper.

I wanted my life to be that hallway. With noting to remind me off the pain. In my hallway there where millions of pictures up. But one by one I was taking them down. And now I was one more picture closer to nothing.

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><p><strong>AN- Hi this is Alice. This is my first fanfic. Hope that you liked it. It took me forever to type. ;) But it was worth it. **

**Now I'm gonna go die in self pity with my carpal tunnel. XD**

**A.C.**


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